In our society, we tend to frown upon people who are poor and hold wealthy people in high esteem, viewing them as successful and productive. However, when it comes down to it – money does not make you a better person or parent.
Children love to get gifts and new toys, that much is true. Even with that being said, your presence is much more beneficial to them than any present you could ever buy them. Growing up, I remember how excited I was to get a new gift or a new gadget and how disappointed I would be when I did not get a gadget that was trendy or new.
However, looking back, and looking into my mind now- I don’t regret or hold it against my parents that they couldn’t afford the newest toys. The things that stand out to me are when my parents were not around. Those toys and gadgets weren’t what shaped me for better or for worse, what shaped me was when my parents were or weren’t there when I needed them.
Think about the kids whose parents do not know how to love, so instead, they buy them things. These kids have every toy that money could buy, yet they aren’t happy or satisfied because their parents aren’t emotionally present for them. Kids need our presence for several reasons. Much more than they need your money.
They Need Your Example
Kids learn so much from their parents, whether we realize it or not. And it’s not the things we tell them to do that they learn, but instead, what they see us doing. When we are emotionally absence from our kids, they too learn to be emotionally cold and distant. When we are present, they learn how to forge healthy and emotionally sound connections with others.
They Need the Security You Provide
Children crave feeling safe, and a part of that comes from the hugs, snuggles, and physical touch we give. When we are not present to provide this, they are left feeling unsafe and insecure in the chaotic world that surrounds them.
You build their self-esteem.
When you are present with your child and pay them quality attention, you help them to build confidence in themselves. Conversely, when you tell them to go away, or that you don’t have time-they internalize that and are left believing that they must be doing something wrong or that something must be wrong with them if you are ignoring them.
You shape how they communicate.
A major part of your child’s social development revolves around how you communicate with them. When you rarely communicate with them, it can be difficult for them to socialize. But, if you talk to them often and spend time with them often, they will get better at socializing.